Hayfever

It’s a good job bees don’t suffer from hayfever. If they did, spring and summer days would be punctuated by a cacophony of insect sneezes and subsequent pollen explosions within the flowers. Even if, by some Herculean effort, the afflicted bee were able to transport his pollen back to the hive, he wouldn’t be in any condition to turn it into decent honey. Indeed, because of the discharge from runny apian noses, jars of Gales Honey would probably consist of 90 per cent bee snot. You wouldn’t be able to spread the stuff on your toast; it would soak straight through.

Another thing to bear in mind is that bees assist in plant reproduction by transferring pollen from the stamen of the male plants to the pistillate cones of the females. But, of course, if they were allergic to the pollen and came over all sneezy and runny-eyed, they wouldn’t be able to do this any more and all plant life on earth would eventually die out. And without plants, there would be no means to convert carbon dioxide into breathable air so, in time, humanity would die of suffocation.

It therefore behoves us to listen carefully to bee hives. If we hear a single sneeze from within, we should leave a packet of Benadryl outside, just to be on the safe side.