Monday, November 24, 2008

My Evening Meal

This evening, round about 6.00 pm, my doorbell rang. I opened it to find Claudia Schiffer, Greta Scacchi, and Isabella Rosselini standing outside. "Joe," they said as one, "you are the only one who is MAN enough satisfy our sexual urges. Please, take us now, either singly or in combination, and fulfil our carnal desires. We will feel incomplete as women until you do." "Sorry ladies," I said. "On any other occasion, I would be happy to. However, tonight, I have more important things to do. I must away and prepare My Evening Meal." Then I shut the door on them.

Indeed, My Evening Meal was far more satisfying than any combination of women could ever be. First, I took a steak of yellowfin tuna. Next, I melted butter in a frying pan, and added - in exactly the right proportions - ginger, pepper, salt, garlic, lemon juice, and a pinch of mixed herbs. Then I pan-fried the steak for just over a minute each side until cooked to perfection. (The mistake that most cooks make with tuna is to overdo it. But it should actually be medium rare.) Finally, I served it up with new potatoes and asparagus.

The result, thanks to my skilful combination of herbs and spices, and my immaculately timed cooking, was sheer perfection. Which is always the case with My Evening Meal.

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