I approve wholeheartedly of this. Indeed, I feel that the concept ought to be applied in the real world, too, not just in the cinema and on television.In my opinion, therefore, people’s individual physical attributes should be graded on a 1 to 10 basis. Bits that score 4 or below should be required by law to be hidden from public view. So if, say, you’re a woman and your knees score only 3½, you should be legally obliged to hire the services of body double. You’d then perch on her shoulders, your legs concealed by her jacket, while she displayed her own knees on your behalf. Likewise with other body parts. And if the aggregate of your body parts scores 4 or below, you should be walled up in your home and forbidden to go outside. Instead, you would be required to pay for a body double to impersonate you on a day to day basis.
Naturally, all this would be expensive. So I suggest that, when they’re young, people take out an insurance policy against turning ugly when they get older. Of course, the premiums would be far higher for those with two ugly parents, as there’d be more likelihood of their turning out nausea-inducing themselves in later life. Then again, I suppose you could defray some of the costs by agreeing to be exhibited in a freak show should this worst-case scenario actually happen.
Talking of which, most of the people in this village look as if they belong in a freak show. I must inform them of this fact. Then, perhaps, they’d agree to my acting as body double in their stead. I’d make a fucking fortune.
4 comments:
Are we to assume that it was Sharon Stone's chuff that was on display in "Basic Instinct"?
According to the actress herself, it was the genuine article.
Nah dat is wot we call a punnany doubl,innit?
IMPOTENCE – A NATURAL CURE THAT IS CLINICALLY PROVEN?
Because of the wealth of bogus products available on the internet which are supposed to cure erectile dysfunction (impotence) in men, it is difficult to believe much if any of what you read today. I am now under the impression that the little blue pills that you can get on prescription from your local GP are often found to be fake! Such confusion would even trouble the little grey cells of Hercule Poirot himself.
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